| 7 Tips for Teaching Your Children Self Reliance |
| Written by Dr Robyn Silverman | |
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Page 1 of 2 Most parents are trying to stay clear of the label "helicopter parents," because they don't want to be seen as the type of mother or father who hover and "overprotect." The most powerful parents have realized that when their children have the opportunity to make mistakes, they gain an invaluable opportunity to learn from those mistakes.
It's developmentally appropriate for children to become more and more independent, self reliant and responsible as they age. It can be challenging for parents to know when to step back and let their children try something on their own. After all, from the time their children were babies, parents have spent years meeting many to all of their child's needs.Striking a balance between allowing your children to do tasks for themselves and helping them when they seem to need or want is a talent of very powerful parents. This balance allows their children to thrive because they feel more confident in themselves while still feeling supported and properly mentored. How can we instill self reliance and responsibility into our children? (1) Allow your children to make some decisions: Even young children can make sound decisions if you give them a few select choices. Do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt? Would you like a peanut butter sandwich or a cheese sandwich? As children get older, you can allow them to make more important decisions with little to no guidance. They can determine things like which Fall sport they'd like to play, if they need a tutor for math, and which friends they'd like to spend time with each day without needing much, if any, input from parents. While it's tempting to make these kinds of decisions for your older children, they need to stand on their own two feet—after all, their decisions are often correct! (2) Encourage your children to try tasks on their own: While it's often quicker and more skillfully done when we do it for them, children need to engage in tasks on their own if they're ever going to learn how to do them well. Laundry, shoe-tying, and making the bed are great places to start with young children. Older children can handle more complicated tasks such as cooking, preparing their own lunch, and doing their own homework. (3) Model responsibility and self reliance: Parents have many responsibilities—let your child see them and hear about them! Say out loud; "This screw seems a little loose, I'll go get the screwdriver and tighten it" or "I have to plan our weekly menu for dinner; let's see...Monday night we'll have..." When children see you making decisions, taking initiative, and displaying self reliant behaviors, they will engage in similar behavior. |
